I have finally deleted my social media again.

Alright, I got to it. Finally brought myself to do it. To finally detach from the bloodsucking parasitic platforms. My Facebook and Instagram are still slightly active, although, I will be detaching from those ones next. I really want to make it clear that this is for multiple reasons all coming to ahead. I could labor about my concerns, my thoughts, my feelings, it could exhaust this while document. So let’s do it. Reddit. Why do I dislike Reddit? I dislike Reddit and I am breaking up with Reddit because Reddit has destroyed my way of thinking. (I said a lot of this on my YouTube Channel videos which are all now deleted, and we will be getting into my reasons for deleting videos shortly.) So Reddit, every time I have a concern, question, or comment that needed to worked out in my mind, I would go to Reddit to search for the solution. Then I would have the search results of a bunch random people voicing feedback. I swear, Reddit was used as a search tool like AI. I would also use it as porn back when I would watch Porn. I have since decided to distance myself from that as well. I really want to make my Internet presence SOLELY on my OWN site. Not using other platforms. That was a BIG reason for this change. I can remember back when I first attempted to dodge this stuff, I would be in trouble socially, people would always ask for instagram, or what not. It would pull me back in. The thing that I can lean on now, is my site. Sure, is it going to much more difficult to program that I have decided against watching videos, researching on reddit, or using AI? Yes. It will require thought, and that is the WHOLE POINT. I want to T H I N K with my M I N D. I don’t want to use reddit, ai search, or YouTube to assist me. That’s the cheap way out. It’s never going to fully allow me to GROK the material I am working with. So, yes, it comes down to a sort of dependency. That’s the reason my car hasn’t been repaired yet, as I have problems asking my neighbors for help. That social skill must be improved upon as well, and I know that deleting the social media WILL assist in that process. Social Bonds, I want my social bonds to be in person primarily. I don’t want to socialize with people through social media. It wouldn’t fair well to do it that way. I want my social relationships to be in person. I want to develop relationships in person. If people aren’t near me, call me. If calling me is toooooo much trouble? Then forget about it. I am not going to text people who don’t have the respect to talk to me face to face or in person. This is for my own mental health, as I am allergic to videos. I am allergic to social media. I am allergic to so many things that have brought me down for so long. Committing to this lifestyle change may seem hard at first, true, yes, I will get the FOMO. It’s without a doubt I will have FOMO over the next couple of months and years. I would rather miss out, than to miss out on myself. I want the true Aidan to come forth. The true Aidan will never come forth through the use of social media. Again, I don’t want to socialize with people, unless than want to have an active presence in my life. Otherwise I would rather be alone. It’s so easy to fall back into it, and I know I haven’t listed out all of the reasons properly or in the best way. In my mind, there are more justifiable reasons to distance myself.

It’s 4:27 PM, I feel like my head is going to explode. I have deprived myself of YouTube, Reddit, and almost all social media. I must interact with someone in this world, yet I do not want to contact the people from my past on my phone, I just know, that those relationships are toxic for me, and drag me into toxic patterns. I must go to the grocery store. I could go to the community event, although, I haven’t been vibing with it all to much lately. Plus it’s cold in there and I want to stay warm. I could always, just stay with myself, and just journal this all out. I don’t want to associate with most people in the world today. I want to totally distance myself, as I am very allergic to the ways of people today, and I know that I will fall back into my regularly scheduled programming. I. Must. Not. Be. Programmed. I must live my own life. It’s hard. I am literally climbing mount impossible. With all that I want to have done, and all that I want to have changed in my life. Take your time, Aidan, this all doesn’t have to be solved all at once. It’s maintaining my distance from these things, and choosing to stand firm in my boundaries. “I don’t watch movies, sorry, it gives me motion sickness” can be my tag line. That’s my self defense. If someone asks about social media, I’ll say, “No I prefer to socialize with people face to face.” Even if that leads me down a road, of total isolation, I would rather have that than deal with the dangerous of the world today. Once, I have my defenses in alignment, then I will be ready to face the world again. Is it really possible to not watch television anymore? I wonder what Jerry Mander would say about this. It’s not “normal” and yes I will be called “autistic” for behaving in this way, although, what are the other possibilities? Being stuck in the AI matrix? Literally, that was me the last 2 years. I became awake to all this knowledge back in 2023, after a severely distressing incident, and then like yeah, I became consumed by social media the past year. This year? Full of it. I had like 12 monitor setups in my old room. I had screens everywhere. I was like, so messed up. It’s not normal and I am glad I’m out of that situation. While it’s a tough place I am in now, it’s still a hell of a lot better than where I was back then. Right now I am dealing with the withdrawal symptoms of using the internet in the way that I did.

Moving forward, I want to be serious about this stuff. It’s not a joke. It’s not a game. It’s not something I take lightly. It’s something that I attempted to forget. I attempted to forget about it through texting people, and having false relationships through text. I attempted to forget about it through listening to podcasts. I numbed myself out through scrolling, scrolling, and more scrolling. At least now, I have my kindle, loaded to the gills with books. I have that. I can use that as an alternative to scrolling. My phone? It’s in the bathroom. That’s where it lives. I don’t do texting. People can text me. I am also just choosing not to reach out to people right now. I would rather keep my distance. I would rather keep my distance because I don’t want to be involved with other people right now. I have been to easily trusting of people in the past and I have realized that is because I have low trust in myself. Once I build up these defenses, I will be able to live a strong fulfilling life. Part of that, is finding my tribe, which is not an easy task. Like I said and stated before, most people are drowninnnnnnnggggggg in social media, television, pharma, poison in the food they eat, plus it’s like, I would want to surround myself with like minded individuals. I am all about community, although, I want to have my tribe. My people. That’s tough! Like I already stated, social media purports the illusion of friendships. It’s not real. It’s an illusion. True friendships, true relationships come from the heart and true love.